Depressed And Stressed....

My life is sooo twisted now, I cannot explain it.

Some factors may include that I'm pledging for OTE still. I'm way too stressed out doing so. I love these people. I had a blast with them last night at Jarret's house, drinking beer. But the morning after, I just realize how much my life just isn't satisfying for me right now.

For one thing, a friend of mine has lost all trust in me and respect cuz of an incident that had happened on 3B. (Not Andy E...he's one of my closest buddies). I won't explain it on here, but I'm a little bummed about it.

Stressed out with studies and have a big anthro test this wednesday and I totally fucked the first two tests up twice. I really REALLY cannot fail out of this school.

Yesterday at work, a co-worker told me that I have changed in a bad way. I used to be loveable and kind and now I'm this totally different person with a chip on my shoulder and don't care much for anything or anybody. I was shocked. I was kind of pissed off about it at first, but then I was like "I'M AN ASSHOLE AND THAT MAKES ME INVULNERABLE!!" Ha! take that.

This girl has a super crush on me after our little fling a week ago. She went home this weekend, and talked to me on MSN and we chatted for awhile on friday night. She said some comments that I had a hard time dealing with, and she came out as completely obsessive. She even brought her cousin into this which really caught me off guard.

"I'm freaking out here cuz I feel you don't like me and think i'm weird..."

"So I've been asking around who your previous crushes were..you still like them?...."

"I'm in a weird mood because I feel you don't like me enough..."


Goddamnit, what to do when I get into this predicament? I met her drunk and had a fling but rarely talked to eachother sober. I don't know...I was lonely but overall, maybe I do prefer being single.

If I feel cornered as she forces me to be in a relationship like this, one word:

Goodbye.

That is how I honestly feel.


Andy, sorry i left you room like i did last night. 'nother thing that bummed me out. I went out, and had a good time and was safe. thanks for the drinks and I got completely hammered off your last strong one. I owe you big time!

and I can't explain why I am depressed.

Jon