Riley....

I keep thinking I'm breaking the rules by mentoining names on this blog...

Riley was my very first official girlfriend. Very sweet and very gorgeous. I felt as if I didn't deserve her cuz she was too good! I have had her on my mind over the past couple of years (is that cheating on Laura..like I give a shit now anyway) a lot. We started to talk again two years ago quite a bit, even though she's in a serious relationship and still is today. Talking to her gave me so much relief that I can see where she is at in life, and to let her know how I am doing as well. Showed me that I wasn't a complete dick afterall. Every now and then we would give eachother a holler online, and end up talking for almost an hour every time. Talk weather, classes, where we are living, ask how our life is, family, how your bf is, how your gf is, that kind of thing.

I liked going to her house, pop in a movie, chat, hang out with her family..was all good. Her mom and my mom shared common ground for being hardcore mn viking fans...both get into it, but my mother ends up having the neighbors worry with her cussin' and screaming...heh...plus we went on walks, talked hours and hours on the phone, oh those were the days. She truly did make me very happy...


We lasted 8 months together. Was it genuine? Not really. I mean she is this gorgeous, sweet girl and I was in my world with my buddies in litchfield, and she had her thing at her town. Why did I let everything overshadow what we had? I was a selfish ass about everything. Why would I do her like that? Til this day, I keep wanting to go back and change my ways without going on with my life bein an insecure turd like I was and today. Think I am getting better.



I don't know why I am talking about her...first love, that kind of thing. But this girl was very gorgeous which makes me regret tearing this relationship apart. If i would have still called her after I broke up with her, I think she would like me better plus there would have been a chance for us to be together but..she found someone else right away afterwards.

I do miss her a lot. She was there thru those shitty times with Laura. she happened to meet laura once. kind of awkward, but I think she told me she liked Laura...problay didn't mean it though. I remember doing a drunk email to her one night about everything, and she emailed me back, and that was comforting.

Riley, if you see this I still have you in my thoughts and I thank you. I want to apologize for being a complete ass. I went thru a nightmare, believe me, and I don't wish what I have gone thru upon anybody. I didn't mean to take everything for granted like I did and I hope we can be very, very good friends. I hope you are happy with whatever you are doing.

Peace

J2K