So these Times I Fucked Up In My Life....

I was talking to a friend of mine this morning. I don't want to get into the details, but it took me back when I brought myself and someone else down to the nitty gritty, and that is why today I still cannot get along with my ex-gf.

Laura and I have been dating from october 2003 to about March of this year. I got sick of her quirks, sick of being insecure that she would cheat on me like she has done before (twice...fucked someone, made out with another stranger)...I was working at Newby's then, got off at 8 and she called me at work, saying she wasn't feeling good. So, I went over to her hosue (her parents), stood in her room and she was telling me that she is very depressed that I dumped her, and she was very sorry for all the things she has done to me. I heard that same old song and dance before, and i knew right then that I could not hook up with her again. I made no promises, and she wanted me to start over again.

So anyway, for some reason, I laid in bed with her and we started to talk. I just only wanted to lay there, and I didn't expect anything. Next thing I know, We Cuddled a little bit and then...BOOM, we fucked! Then I got up, started to walk out and she's like "where are you going?" I said "home." "You just had sex with me and you just get up and leave...what are you doing?" I couldn't explain why...Come to figure out I wasn't thinking with my heart that night...I was thinking with something else!

She got me there, i guess I made the asshole points that night. I cannot explain why I did it, but it made me feel like shit, knowing that did something wrong. Very wrong. It's like I wanted a quick fix, took it for granted, and thought it would be alright. That is why I felt bad cuz i hurt her feelings. That would be the last time i'll ever have sex with her.

As days, weeks, months went on, she would rub it into my face that her life is so much better than mine, have her white trash freinds harass me, and did I have it coming? Yes, I did, but she did some damage to me too. She 'almost' slept with one of my friends, messed around while we were together...in conclusion, what I did she had coming. I will admit...I am not innocent either. One time during a fight, we took a break...(something that tells me that we are both single, but we'll make up tomorrow kind of thing). So, my friend Joe (well, he's kind of a dousche-bag) went to the bar with me, and had a drink at the Keg. I had a couple beers, and was just feeling shitty how Laura treated me, how she would threaten to cheat on me and so forth. I took joe home and instead of going home myself, i went to hard times and picked up a black guy that I shouldn't have, who was walking to the bar on the way there. He needed a ride to Hard times so I drove he and his native-american lady friend there (who's bi-sexual). He bought us a pitcher of beer, I was shooting the shit, played pool with him, whatever. Then I sit next to his lady friend. She started to be seductive, and I was tipsy too. Next thing I know, I was making out with her, and worse thing about it...she's 37 years old!! Good God, I'm a creep...I ended up driving them back, go to know some of their friends and this will be the night I will never forget, and I want to forget. They were doing fucking cocaine!! Yes, smoking it from the pop can. I took a few hits of it, and I have not felt so good inside. It took all my troubles away, I was full of energy, it was this feeling that was amazing. I ended up leaving the place around 4 am. Stayed up for the next couple days. It was not a good deal. I regret this moment for as long as I live....

I used to see the black chick that was hanging out there around Linden at times...yea, she lived at linden, where I was at. She told me that it was foolsih, and wanted me to get the fuck out of there the whole night. I don't remember that. One time, this past Christmas Eve, she was not doing anything so I took her to my room, showed her around, talked for awhile and felt bad she had no place to go. She told me that Laura shouldn't know about this, and she was right...Laura still deosn't know. She's nice and all, told me she secludes herself from those druggies but i still do not want to have anything to do with her. She moved out, and thank God for that...she was freaky, wouldnt' trust her with a bottle of my own piss!

This other time I was at a party with Laura and her 'slutty friends' out by the fairgrounds. Laura started to flash people, so I got pissed off, found a couple girls making out. Ended up making out with one of them...Asshole points for me again. I was spotted by a friend of Luara's and shit really hit the fan that night....

My relationship with Laura in retrospect was not worth saving all those times, and I just keep wondering why I stuck with her and so forth. Big Rollercoaster ride indeed. The only reason why I think I wanted to stay with her is because I have always had a thing for black girls. Blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice! There was no real connection between us...it was more of a lust thing, and her only wanting what she wants, Miss one way ticket, her.

I can recall this one experience I had with a black girl before Laura that changed my life since then. Me and my buddies, yea, naive 18-19 year olds, went to the Deja Vu in the cities, very classy strip club. 16 bucks to pay to get in...so anyway, this tall black girl walks to our table, and came to me. She was like "Want some of this hot-chocolate?" and I was like "nah..."

...Then, those dumb sons of bitches (my friends) pushed me off my chair, she grabbed my hand and took me upstairs to do a lap dance on me. Son fo a bitch! that cost me an arm and a leg. She took my whole bank account that night cuz she really "liked me" and kept teasing me to touch her. She was talking dirty, and it was very seductive. Damn, if I can get a girl who talks dirty doing freaky stuff...ooooh!! that'd be swell! She wanted me to buy her a gift....and that was the time I hit the road. Hell no, bitch! And ever since then, my eyes have been glued to african-american girls and what can I say, I succeeded, kind of, but the bitch did me wrong! Another thing I am guilty of and that is going to that strip club! I have not been there since, nor will I ever go back to a strip club.

The OTE land parties...they were interesting alright...I don't think i'll ever go home with a sorority chick again, let's just put it that way....very, very bad experience and did not like what i saw the next morning!!

The Genuine-Asshole is signing off...