J2K Is Not Okay...

This weekend sucked for the record:



Went home friday night to once again chill with my friends. Nothing too exciting as usual. Had a few people over at charlie's apartment and hung out. It's a good time, dont' get me wrong, but I am just not happy! I do not know where my head has been at lately. I just have not been happy, and I do not know why.

First of all, my mom has been getting on my nerves. She'll call and ask if I have been taking my meds, sending me money when I don't need it, just nagging me left and right about everything I am doing. Jesus Christ...she not have any confidence in me? Starting to bother me. She's such a worry wreck and I believe that is where I get it from. So irritated with her now. Actually, I have been with her for the past few years. She smothers me too much, has always been protective. Holy shit, You would not believe. Yea, so I fucked up in the past. my first year of college, I pud'ner failed out. I have been doing well latey, and have a 3.0 GPA now. She needs to realize that I'm a grown man, and responsible. Really makes me look bad when she sends me money, pay for this and that with car insurance, liscence tabs and so forth. How can I get my feet wet with real life, y'know? I know some would be thankful that their parents would do that and some would wish their parents would help them out. I do not want to take advantage of this whole thing by any means.

"Now Jon, I am not going to preach..."

I hear that all the time...this woman drives me insane.



I had charlie come up here on Saturday, and we took shots early and headed for the party. I was pissed off with Saturday night. It was an engagement party, and this friend, Elly, was throwing it at Cooper's house. At an engagement party, people should respect the fact that they are there to honor you, and to show you that they are happy for you. Well, when I got there, those "moochers" were like "Hey, let's go to the Ubar..you have a car!" So we all went to the U-Bar, Charlie included, and it wasn't bad...However, I wanted to stay at the party and be at one place. Those people showed they aren't truly friends with Elly and her fiance, and I didn't blame her for going home. I hope she is not mad at me. Anyway, we all went back there after the bar, and things slowed down. It was shitty. Charlie and I just went home and passed out. He told me he had a good time, but I think he could have had a better time.


So out of the flesh now with Friends walking all over me with bumming rides here and there, thanks to moondance I am broke again, classes frusterate me. And of course ALL THAT GODDAMNED ROAD CONSTRUCTION ON THE WAY HOME!!!

I just wish sometimes I don't get aquainted with certain people that abuse the friendship I have with some of them. Tyrone and some of my international friends have pissed me off lately cuz of that. Fuck man, they have lived life long enough to know how to be responsible for themselves. Ty's a shady guy, and I don't think I want to hang out with him anymore. Don't feel like I can trust him. Comes out as creepy to girls that is for sure. Thing about him he's cheap. K, here I go again being racist (not really)...He's black, and uses that to intimidate others so he gets what he wants. Yea, I would hate to piss him off cuz he's huge and shit. He'd beat my ass..not the type of ppl to get aquainted with. But anyway, I'm just going to try my best to avoid his sorry ass. When we were at the U Bar, Charlie had to pay for this girl's drink for Ty! Why? I don't know..he's cheap, and a very lousy human being. Ty had him pay for a drink that he offered to this girl, and thought he had a chance with her. (he ended up getting SOL with her...she just went to another guy). DENIED to the Poor, Selfish son of a bitch!!

Curt, I cannot wait to see your comments on this one!

Ohhhh...I am sick of being me! I wish I was not this genorous. I want to be able to have a chip on my shoulder, and have more of an edge to myself. That is why i want to join the military, and build up my self-esteem, and to become a man. I can challenge myself in that nature..

I can also challenge myself by traveling the world for a living!

I'm happy to know that I can say "Someday, I'm going to move out west to breath the mountain air!" I will be away from civilization, and being placed in an environment like the way I want it.

I am a wanderer indeed. I am always around town somewhere, and never have been in a click or belonged to a group of friends. I have a couple who are very close indeed, but I just wander, heh! I imagined resting my head at different places on the map. Beginning this summer around May, I have been thinking of drifting all over the US, meet up with different strangers, work some odd jobs here and there, and then keep on rollin'! I won't have a car, hell no. I want to walk every inch of the trail. I feel if i settle at a place for a long time, I will not be happy. Everyone needs to leave their comfort zone in their life at some point, y'know? Go out there, meet new people, experience new things. That's life. That is what my firey passion is right now...leave this town whenever, pack light, and hit the road. Then you will find out for sure if I mattered to people out there or not, who would actually care for me when I am gone.....I have always wanted to cause such controversy.

Who knows, I'll try it for awhile. Maybe I'll be happier with myself. Don't have to worry about getting close with anyone and so forth. Don't have to let anyone know me a whole lot. Just drift away....


I am exhausted to beat all hell. Looks like a Movie Night and I need a good laugh...I am feeling "Cheech and Chong: UP In Smoke."

Chong: Here, man, mellow out. Here, take this
[Cheech swallows the capsule]
Chong: No, wait a minute don't take that.
Cheech: [Worried] Hey, man; what was that shit you gave me?
Chong: Man, that was the most acid I ever saw anyone take at one time, man.
Cheech: [panicing] Acid! Man, I don't mess with that shit, man. A guy in my neighborhood took some once, his head swelled up and everything, man!
Chong: [laughing] Ho, ho, ho; man, I hope you're not planning on doing anything for the next couple of months.

Classic.

J2K, signing off for the evening...

Peace, y'all stay strong!