The Guy I Once Knew Before Oct 12th 2003 is back!....

I believe I am starting to become back to the ol' self again. Yesterday I picked up the rest of the stuff from Laura, and brought it all home. I can tell she thinks I'm a total asshole cuz I just went there to pick up my stuff and left right away. I had nothing to say to her. Of all the trouble she put me throu, I don't know why she cares about me leaving! Anywho, I have my fishing pole, CD's, DVD's, foreman grill, etc. Yea, good stuff...oh dammit, just remembered i forgot my bike..oh well, go down there when she's not there and have her ma' help me get it out. Always got to be that one thing you forget from the ex!

I remember vividly meeting Laura. My friend Ryan was going to have a movie night, and had hsi friends come over. Laura didn't know any of us, so she was a friend of Ryan's friend. Anyway, the next day I heard she thought I was cute, would like to get to know me. I was like cool, she's pretty drop dead gorgeous herself. She came back that night, came to my room and we exchanged numbers. After that, being that she had no boyfriend before me, she told everyone i was her boyfriend. I was like "okay" weird...well me being naive myself, I went along with it cuz I wanted a realtionship. Should have known since that day it was going to be a long, hard, rollercoaster ride for a year and a half!!

I'm over the fact that she has a new guy in her life. Remember, I was the one who dumped her because I was fed up with headaches from her. I think the reason why I am bitter about her finding a guy right away after we broke up is because I know how let's say.. "easy" she is for a scoundral to catch her, and just knowing the fact that she is waking up next to a different man, having sex, whatever feels like a sucker punch to the gut and here I am alone! I guess I'm protective, y'know, and just wish she didn't have taste for white trash! She's the type to figure out things on her own and she doesn't like to listen to anyone. Stubborned girl! Used to call her little spitfire Laura and she'd get angry..hehehe!! Sometimes I get the urge to call her to ag her on and yea, call her to tell her about what I did today, how my life is but I know I need to move on. It has gotten better and I don't want to hear her voice!! I don't want that..she needs to let go. I cannot hold a casual conversation with her while she is seeing another man. That's not the way I roll!! I don't think she is quite over me yet, which is too bad. Should have thought twice for making that move cheating on me earlier, or taking my money and making threats!! i'm taking this better than I thought I would. It's great! She was killing me slowly. God Bless the man, actually, who is with her...hopefully he can keep her busy and not call me about "I saw your grandma today in town" or other piddly-ass excuses to call me. I don't want any of it! Just gets me angrified!!

Before there was Laura, like let's say before I came to Bemidji State, people say I had a chip on my shoulder, I was loving life. I knew more people, i was around more people. I was finally happy making new friends, getting out of my comfort zone in Litchfield. Partying like there was no tomorrow. I was more into my hobbies. Jon is back in the saddle again!