Women

These girls that I mention will remain nameless


I just got out of a relationship, that really took a toll on me. We were going out for like a year and 5 months (I don't keep track of this kind of stuff), and it was a relationship where everything was swept under the rug most of the time. When I look back, I never really trusted her deep down. She cheated on me once with a fucking high school aged kid, when she was 20!!! Then I took her back, for some God awful reason, and tried to move on from there...and I know that was not a smart move. Out of all the dumb shit I have done in my life, this has to be the dumbest. AFter the whole cheating thing, she would still try to have control over me, clingy, and made me look bad in front of my family, friends. I got a job working at her parent's convienient store. Her mom is absolutley nice to me, and helps me out with a lot of stuff. Even had me move into a place that was owned by here, but I lived there with my ex. As for my family and friends, They all thought I was an idiot for being with her. I was in a place where I just cannot win, and it weighed on me like no other. Hell, whenever she thought she can control me, I would be like "I have all freedom..I can do no wrong in this relationship cuz you did me wrong" and we would fight, hearing her say she did not regret sleeping with another guy. Still chaps my ass to this day. Man, she's messed up but hell, I had guts to put up with it. I don't know what it is that made me stay by her side. It could have been the sex, and plus I really felt sorry for her cuz she didn't have many friends to hang out with. She would play that whole self pity thing that she is adopted, ppl treat her like shit (Go figure, you treat ppl like shit), and has no real friends, so I would take her with me to kick it with my peeps. And these guys that we hung out with for awhile were nothing but man-whores, and had no women in their life, so whenever I would not be around, they would make moves on my gf at the time, and she would give in, like a naive eighteeen year old college chick! How can I be so stupid. I am glad I got rid of her when I did or otherwise it would be nothing but mindgames and all that other stupid shit. I am ready to move on from this. It will be hard, cuz I still am used to that void being filled by her, but what can I say, she's the ultimate bitch, and is very naive!! Those 'friends' of mine aren't going anywhere in life either. Sit, drink, and hope to get a piece of ass that they haven't had in five years...fuck all of you!!

Right after I got done with her, another girl came into my life. She lives at a mental institution, she's in my comparative politics class, and seemed to be nice. I would talk to her every now and then in class, but she took it the wrong way that a simple hi to her from a guy meant sexual favors. She slept with all of my friends, and would see her at parties and that is how we knew eachother. she came up to my room once, and was starting to make moves on me. Number one, she's a from a mental institution...no way I will mess with this freak!! She is supposed to stay put at that home, but would lie to the ppl to get out so she could come to my room! I never todl her she could do that!! Number two, she is almost twice my size...and that is huge. I was freaked out as all hell. I stopped answering her calls, kept my distance from her in class...it was just weird! she thought i was playing games...bullshit. I said hello, and she came up to my room, and thought we were a couple. I really know how to pick the right ones, don't I?!

Take that back...at least one girl that came into my life was well worth it! My first relationship was awesome. It was a high school relationship, it was my first, so I was happier as can be. She lived 20 miles away from me, visited eachother...it wasn't bad. She was gorgeous, wow! Reason why we broke up was because I didn't like how a relationship worked, we had differences, and I wanted to be single.I kind of told her to buzz off whenever I wanted to be alone, and was a dick about it! I cannot apologize her enough. We still talk every now and then, but she is in a serious relationship and seems happy. I guess I am not over her. I know I cannot find the same person as her in my life, but hopefully will be as nice and caring like how she was.

My last relationship taught me to be strong. Helped me put up with a lot of bullshit that can happen in anyone's life. That is all I am thankful for, regarding being with her. I am more wiser and stronger to keep my eyes open for a certain someone that won't hurt me, and make me feel less of a person that I am. I have been fucked with all of my life, and this was the last straw. I guess things happen for a reason, and I think this was a work from God that 'Hey man, don't take her shit and move on' and I did! God bless that girl and hopefully she'll be more happy with herself and grow up a little.